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More Corona Virus jokes

April 8, 2020

Received These From A Friend

.

*  Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.
 
*   I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe.   

  *   I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

  *   Still haven’t decided where to go for Easter —– The Living Room or The Bedroom

  *   PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

  *   Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.

  *   I don’t think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we’d go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone

  *   This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog….. we laughed a lot.

  *   So, after this quarantine…..will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?

  *   Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.

  *   My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.

  *   Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.

  *   I’m so excited — it’s time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?

  *   I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I’m getting tired of Los Livingroom.

  *   Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.

  *   Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said “I hope I don’t have the same teacher next year”…. I’m offended.

  *   Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under.

From → M

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