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Suthunuhs – 2

November 4, 2015
Southerners know instinctively the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who has trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken & a big bowl of cold ‘tater salad. If the neighbor’s trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large ‘nana puddin’!
Southerners grow up knowing the difference between “right near” & “a right far piece.” They know “just down the road” can be 1 mile or 20.
A Southerner both knows & understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol’ boy, & po’ white trash.
No true Southerner would ever assume that car with the flashin’ turn signal is actually gonna make a turn.
A Southerner knows “fixin” can be used as a noun, a verb, or adverb.
Southerners make friends while standing in lines, & when we’re “in line,” we talk to everybody!
Put 100 Southerners in a room & 1/2 of them will discover they’re related, if only by marriage.
In the South, “y’all” is singular, “all’a y’all” is plural.
Southerners know grits come from corn& how to eat them.
Southerners know tomatoes, eggs, bacon, grits, & coffee are perfectly wonderful; red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; scrambled eggs ain’t right without Tabasco, & fried green tomatoes ain’t a breakfast food.
When you hear someone say, “Well, I caught myself lookin’,” you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
True Southerners say “sweet tea” & “sweet milk.” Sweet tea means sugar – lots of it – we don’t drink tea unsweetened. “Sweet milk” means you don’t want buttermilk.
A true Southerner knows you don’t scream obscenities at little old ladies driving 30 mph on the freeway. You say, “Bless her sweet little heart” – & go on your way.
To all’a’y’all still embarrassed by your Southernness: Take 2 tent revivals & a dose of sausage gravy & call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
To those having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff…. bless your hearts, They’re fixin’ to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
Southern girls know men may come & go, but friends are fah-evah!
There ain’t no magazine named “Northern Living” for good reason. Ain’t nobody interested in livin’ up north – nobody would buy the magazine!

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