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The Old Cow

October 25, 2015
Hillary Clinton was in Des Moines, Iowa, where she fired up a crowd of about 600 supporters with her first stump speech of her 2016 presidential campaign.
That evening, she and her driver were speeding back along a country road when an old cow crossed in front of the car.
The driver tried to avoid it but couldn’t.
The old cow was struck and killed.
Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. She instructed him to resist any request from the farmer to pay for the animal, but if the farmer insists, Hillary said the driver must pay, “you killed it, so if they have to have money, it will come out of your pocket!”
Hillary stayed in the car making phone calls, while the driver went to the farmhouse.
About an hour later, the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive wine in one hand, a huge Cuban cigar in the other, and was smiling happily, smeared with lipstick.
“What happened to you?” asked Hillary.
With a blissful smile, the driver replied, “Well, the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine, and their beautiful twin daughters made passionate love to me.”
“Why would they do that when you ran over and killed their cow?,” Hillary demanded.
The driver replied, “I just stepped inside the door and said, ‘I’m Hillary Clinton’s driver and I’ve just killed the old cow.’ The rest happened so fast, I couldn’t stop it.”
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