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Toilet & Bathroom humor! – 3

October 15, 2014
What’s dumb? Directions on toilet paper.
What’s dumber than that? Reading them.
Even Dumber? Reading them and learning something.
Dumbest of all? Reading them and having to correct something that you’ve been doing wrong.
~~~~~
A construction site boss was interviewing men for a job, when along came Murphy. The boss thought I’m not hiring that lazy Irishman, so he decided to set a test for Murphy, hoping he wouldn’t be able to answer the questions, and he’d be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument.
The first question was, Without using numbers, represent the number 9. So Murphy says, “Dat’s easy” and proceeds to draw three tree’s. The boss says, “What the hells that?” Murphy says “Tree ‘n tree n’ tree makes nine”. “Fair enough, says the boss.”
Second question, same rules, but represent 99. Murphy stares into space for a while, then makes a smudge on each tree. “Der ya go sir” he says. The boss scratches his head and says, ” How on earth do you get that to represent 99. Murphy says ” each tree’s dirty now! so it’s dirty tree, n’ dirty tree n’ dirty tree, dats 99.
The boss is getting worried he’s going to have to hire him, so he says “All right, question three. Same rules again, but represent the number 100”. Murphy stares into space again, then he shouts, “got it!” he makes a little mark at the base of each tree, and says “There ya go sir 100.”
The boss looks at Murphy’s attempt and thinks, Ha! got him this time. “Go on Murphy, you must be mad if you think that represents a hundred.” Murphy leans forward and points to the marks at the tree bases, and says, “A little dog comes along and craps by each tree, so now you’ve got, dirty tree an’ a turd, dirty tree an’ a turd, an’ dirty tree an’ a turd, which makes one hundred, when do I start me job?”
~~~~~
Seen at a restaurant/gas station in Alabama:
“Eat here and get gas.”
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