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My Next Life

October 3, 2014

MY NEXT LIFE by George Carlin

I want to live my next life backwards: You start out dead and get that out of the way.

Then you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day. Then you get kicked out for being too healthy. Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.

Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work 40 years until you’re too young to work.

You get ready for High School: drink alcohol, party, and you’re generally promiscuous.

Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities. Then you become a baby, and then… You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully inSpa-like conditions – Central heating, room service on tap, and then… You finish off as an orgasm.

I rest my case.

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From → M

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