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Ramblings of a Retired Mind – 1

May 23, 2014
I was thinking about how a status symbol of today ( those cell phones) that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. But I can’t afford one, so I’m wearing my garage door opener.
I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have what they call blue teeth, I think.
You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn’t like me anyway.
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!
I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age, and call it ‘Pumping Rust’.
I’ve gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That’s when your chest is falling into your drawers!
When people see a cat’s litter box, they always say, ‘Oh, have you got a cat?’ Just once I want to say, ‘No, it’s for company!’
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write, ‘A Good Doctor’!
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me. They were cramming for their finals.
As for me, I’m just hoping God grades on the curve.
Birds of a feather flock together . . . .and then poop on your car.
A penny saved is a government oversight.

 

Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth ….. AMEN
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From → R

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