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Jewish Humor – 2

May 18, 2014
You may remember the old Jewish Catskill comics of Vaudeville days — Shecky Green,Red Buttons, Totie Fields, Milton Berle, Henny Youngman, and others? Not one single swear word in their comedy.
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Doctor: ‘You’ll live to be 60!’
Patient: ‘I AM 60!’
Doctor: ‘See! What did I tell you?’
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A doctor held a stethoscope up to a man’s chest.
The man asks, ‘Doc, how do I stand?’
The doctor says, ‘That’s what puzzles me!’
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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much?
They’re worth it.
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Why do Jewish men die before their wives?
They want to.
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The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese food so much.
The study revealed that this is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backward is Not Now.
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There is a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until it graduates from medical school.
Q: Why don’t Jewish mothers drink?
A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.
Q: Have you seen the newest Jewish-American-Princess horror movie?
A: It’s called, ‘ Debbie Does Dishes.’
Q: What’s a Jewish American Princess’s favorite position?
A: Facing Bloomingdale’s.

 

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