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Rodney Dangerfield Funniest Jokes Ever On The Johnny Carson Show 1983

Click the link below the picture

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Rodney Dangerfield Funniest Jokes Ever

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Rodney Dangerfield and Johnny Carson

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Click the link below for the video:

https://www.youtube.com

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Senior eye test

Received These images From A Friend

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I flunked miserably.
This is not like the other senior eye test messages
you may have seen.   Enjoy the fun…  
  Eye Test for Seniors

 

Relax, it’s just a ceiling

Robbery

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A thief entered a house mid-afternoon. He tied up the woman and at knife-point asked the man to hand over the jewelry and money.  The man started sobbing and said, “You can take anything you want. You can kill me also. But please untie the rope and free her.”
Thief: “You must really love your wife!”
Man: “No, but she will be home shortly”.

The “Understanding Policeman”

James' World 2

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Click link below picture

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The police have a tough job.

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Bound woman in trunk

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Click link below for video:

https://videopress.com

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Beer: This pretty well sums it up…

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This pretty well sums it up…

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 I feel ashamed.  Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I did not drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, it is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true, than be selfish and worry about my liver.”

Babe Ruth

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“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”
Paul Horning

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“24 hours in a day and 24 beers in a case.    Coincidence?  I think not!”
H. L. Mencken

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“When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep.    When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.  So, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven.”
George Bernard Shaw

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“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”
Benjamin Franklin

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“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.  Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention,  But the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”
Dave Barry
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“Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B.C.”
W. C. Fields
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“Remember ‘I’ before ‘E,’ except in Budweiser.”
Professor Irwin Corey

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“To some it is a six-pack. To me, it is a Support Group.  Salvation in a can.”
Leo Durocher

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One night at  Cheers ,  a TV Sitcom,  Cliff Clavin said to his buddy, Norm Peterson: “Well, ya see, Normmy, it’s like this … A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo.  And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.  This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing  of the weakest members.   In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.  Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells.  But, naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.  In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.  That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers!”
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Frogs – a simple game

Switch the frogs to the opposite side within 2 minutes.

(this is a 2nd grade computer test in China)

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Click link below to play game of frogs (choose open with: Microsoft Office Excel):

2ndgradecomputertest

Solution!

Note:

Click link below to play game of frogs (this version is written using HMTL(plus another great game))

mygraphicartstudio.com/games.htm

 

A very stable genius