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A very stable genius

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Art Collector

A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called and asked to speak to his client.
“Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news.”
The art collector replied, “You know, I’ve had an awful day, Jack, so let’s hear the good news first.”
The lawyer said, “Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she has invested only $5,000 in two very nice pictures that she thinks will bring somewhere between $15 and $20 million … and I think she could be right.”
Saul replied enthusiastically, “Holy cow!  Well done!  My wife is a brilliant business woman, isn’t she? You’ve just made my day.  Now, I know I can handle the bad news.  What is it?”
The lawyer replied, “The pictures are of you and your secretary……”

Bruce and Jenny

Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they know they are in love. 
 One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny’s father to ask him for her hand.
  
Bruce bravely walks up to him and says, “Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage.”
Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies,
Well, Bruce, you are only 10. Where will you two live?”
Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce replies, “In Jenny’s room. It’s bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely.” 
 
Mr. Smith says with a huge grin. “Okay, then how will you live? You’re not old enough to get a job. You’ll need to support Jenny.”
 
Again, Bruce instantly replies, “Our allowance, Jenny makes five bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That’s about 60 bucks a month, so that should do us just fine.”
Mr. Smith is impressed Bruce has put so much thought into this.
“Well, Bruce, it seems like you have everything figured out. I just have one more question. What will you do if the two of you should have little children of your own?”
 

Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says, “Well, we’ve been lucky so far.” 

Mr. Smith no longer thinks the little shit is adorable.

FACEBOOK

To others of my generation who still do not and cannot comprehend why Facebook even exists, here’s what I’m doing to gain better understanding: 

I am trying to make new friends without using Facebook, but while applying the same principles.
Every day I walk down the street and tell passers-by what I have eaten, how I feel at the moment, what I have done the night before, what I will do later, and with whom.
I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and of me gardening, taking things apart in the garage, watering the lawn, standing in front of landmarks, driving around town, having lunch, and doing what anybody and everybody does every day.
I also listen to their conversations, then give them the “thumbs up” and tell them I like them.
And it works!
I already have four people following me:  Two police officers, a private investigator, and a psychiatrist. 

Dutch take on American gun addiction

Click link below picture

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NRA – Sunday with Lubach

There’s something going on in the world. A situation we cannot ignore any longer and we need to address it. Say nay to NRA (nonsensical rifle addiction).

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Click link below for video:

https://www.youtube.com

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Who Invented The Reverse/Back-up Sensor?

Who Invented The Reverse/Back-up Sensor ?
I bet you think it was Ford, maybe GM, how about Chrysler ?    No, then how about the German engineers at Mercedes Benz ?    Or possibly the French or Italians ?
Who Then Did Invent The Reverse/Back-up Sensor ?

It may be hard to believe but it was . . . a Chinese farmer!


Lots of the newer cars have a Reversing Sensor that warns the driver before the rear bumper actually comes in contact with something.     

Surprisingly, it was not developed by modern automotive engineers using the latest technology but quite the reverse, pun intended.

It was disclosed recently that the first to develop the Reversing-Sensor was a Chinese Farmer, using centuries-old technology.


His invention was simple and effective, emitting a high-pitch squeal before the vehicle backs into something.

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North Koreans